Star Wars Jokes

[assjedi]

Q: What do you call a Sith who won't fight?
A: A Sithy.

Q: How is Ducktape like the Force?
A: It has a Dark Side, a Light side and it binds the galaxy together.

Q: What do Whipids say when they kiss?
A: Ouch.

Q: Why does Leia wear buns on her head?
A: In case she gets hungry in a Senate meeting.

Q: Why did the Stormtrooper start jumping up and down?
A: He stepped on Ant-hillies.

Q: What do Star Destroyers wear to parties?
A: A bow TIE.

Q: Why did the crazy Angrallian Toobir cross the nebula?
A: To get to the other dementia.

Q: Why did the smuggler cross the spacelanes?
A: To get to the other side.

Q: What's the differance between an ATAT and a stormtrooper?
A: One's an Imperial walker and the other is a walking Imperial.

Q: How many Sith does it take to screw in a hyperdrive?
A: Two, but I don't know how they got in it.

Q: How many stormtroopers does it take to replace a lightbulb?
A: Two; one to screw the bulb in, the other to shoot him and take the credit.

Q: What goes, "Ha, ha, ha, haaaa.... AGGGHHHH! Thump"?
A: A droid laughing his head off!

Q: Why did Yoda cross the road?
A: Because the chickens Forced him to.

Q: What side of an Ewok has the most hair?
A: The outside.

Q: Who tries to be a Jedi?
A: Obi-Wannabe

Q: Why did the Ewok fall out of the tree?
A: It was dead.

Q: Why should you never tell jokes on the Falcon?
A: The ship might crack up.

Q: What happens when a red and white X-Wing crashes into green water?
A: It gets wet.

Q: Why do Twi'leks like to flip coins?
A: So that they can say, "Heads or tails!"

Q: As a Disney character what song would Vader sing?
A: "When You Wish Upon A Death Star".

Q: What time is it when an AT-AT steps on your chronometer?
A: Time to get a new chronometer.

Q: Which Star Wars character works at a restaurant?
A: Darth Waiter

Q: Why is a droid mechanic never lonely?
A: Because he's always making new friends.

Q: What do Jawa's have that no other creature in the galaxy has?
A: Baby Jawas.

Q: What do you call a person who brings a rancor its dinner?
A: The appetizer.

Q: Why do vornksrs stop slowly?
A: They're afraid of whiplash.

Q: Why do Doctors make the best Jedi?
A: Because a Jedi must have patience.

Q: What's the name of the worst cantina on Coruscant?
A: The Ackbar.

Q: How would a fat Rogue get into his X-wing?
A: He'd Wedge himself in.

Q: What did the rancor say after he ate a Wookiee?
A: Chewie!

Q: How many Corellians does it take to change a glowpanel?
A: None, if the room's dark, then you can't see them cheat at sabacc.

Q: What do Ithorians put things in?
A: Jar Jars.

Q: Why didn't Luke Skywalker cross the road?
A: Because he got a ticket for Skywalking.

Q: What does Yoda say to encourage a Padawan before a test?
A: Do well, you will do!


Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dook.
Dook-who?


Luke and Obi-Wan are in a Chinise restaurant and Luke's having trouble.
Finally, Obi-Wan says, "Use the forks, Luke."

Darth Vader and Luke.
Suddenly in the middle of the fight, Darth Vader pulls Luke to him, and whispers "I know what you're getting for Christmas!"
Luke exclaims "But how??!?"
"It's true Luke, *breath* I know what you're getting for Christmas."
Luke tries to ignore this, but tears himself free, screaming "How could you know this?!"
Vader replies, "I felt your presents."

Two Gamorrean guards are walking down a narrow, deserted canyon when suddenly a Krayt Dragon comes out and starts chasing them.
One of the Gamorreans stops to put on his best running shoes.
"Don't waste time," shouts the other one, "you can't outrun a Krayt Dragon with those!"
"I don't have to outrun the Krayt Dragon," says the first one as he finishes lacing his shoes, "I just have to outrun you!"

"What's the difference between a lightsaber and a blaster?"
"I don't know."
"You'd be a fine one to send after my lightsaber."

Yoda and Obi-Wan walked into a bar and bought a 5 dollar drink.
Yoda, seeing that he only had 4 dollars asked Obi-Wan, "Have a dollar do you? A little short I am."

Two droids were talking.
One says to the other, "Did you beat the Wookiee at Dejarikk?"
And the other answers, "Yes, but it cost me an arm and a leg."

One day Luke gets fed up with life as a farmer so he goes to see Old Ben the local magician.
Luke: Ben I'm really fed up being a farmer can you turn me into something else?
Ben: Like what?
Luke: Well I guess it would be cool to be a Dewback.
Ben: Ok but only if you're sure.
Luke: I'm sure all right but let me go off and have one last drink as a human.
Luke goes off to have his drink.
Owen and Beru are getting worried so they go and see Old Ben to see if he knows where Luke is.
Owen: Hey, Ben, have you seen Luke today?
Ben: Yes. He's gone for a drink but he won't be Dewback until later.

Palpatine is zapping Luke, and Luke says, "Father, please! It tickles!!!"
Ephant Mon walks into Chalmun's cantina and Wuher asks, "Why the long face?"

Two Stormtroopers walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

After Anakin is done dueling with Dooku, he says, "Very good, let me give you a hand."

Lucas gets his films mixed up... "Episode III: Vaders of the Lost Gundark"

There's a sale at the Maul.... everything's half off.